Friday, February 1, 2013

Putting A Face On Fauxminism

C'mon, you'd wanna stay up late messaging this guy too, right?

I knew better, I did. But y'know, sometimes you just take the troll bait because you're lying in bed trying to go to sleep when your phone pings at you. And so I did. Like an idiot. 

It was a message from (what appeared to be) some dude, thanking me for shitting all over the people who are fighting the patriarchy. I replied, "anytime." Mostly because I fight disrespect with disrespect. One of my many human flaws. But he messages me back right away. Of course. They always do. This time it was some long diatribe about fetuses just being a clump of cells and blah, blah, blah, womyn, blah. Nothing new. I write back (and this is where I went wrong) with facts and reason which only engages or rather enrages web warriors such as himself even more. 

And then I went to sleep. 

...Because see, I had been in Austin all day testifying before the state's senate finance committee about how uninsured women in Texas need better healthcare options...or as I like to call it, actually doing something for women other than swearing at people on the internet like a stupid slacktivist. 

So sleep I did. Kinda.

And then of course I woke up to yet another long, rambling message about how the Bible and religion teach people to hate women....not that I ever brought EITHER of those up, but whatev. Guess he couldn't see his screen clearly through all the dumps people like me take on courageous internet patriarchy fighters like himself. Oh well.

Once again, I take full responsibility. I took the bait. 

I politely inform him this is probably not the page for him, thank him for the feedback and bow out. At which point he does something not at all surprising. He hissy-fits in one last "almost a zinger if it wasn't already a bumper sticker AND T-shirt" and tells me, that "this what feminism looks like." Dude, that peeved me in a way that I can only be peeved when someone says something so mouth breather-y I don't even know how to respond to it. Because it was just so cliche...and dumb, and had he even read a single thing I wasted my time explaining to him? I'm not your life coach, fool. It's not my job to break things down for you and get you to think outside of whatever community college box your brain's stuck in. I explained it, you ignored me, and then what? All I get is an Ashley Juddism?

So fine, whatever. I decide to go see what a real feminist looks like. And there it was, in all its glory. Turns out, he's a 20-something androgynous male who likes to take bird flippin' selfies in his mom's bathroom mirror while wearing feminist symbol half shirt tank tops. Suddenly, my annoyance melted into utter delight as I thought "yeah, that is what a feminist looks like." Which is exactly why we're here. 

Next blog: "Dear Gawd What Have We Done To Our Men?!?"


  1. Beautiful. It's at once maddening and encouraging that the average modern "feminist" and his/her appearance/preferences/debate style is so incredibly predictable and uniform. These are pins to be knocked over by a calm, articulate bowler.

  2. Are you freaking KIDDING ME? THAT DUDE wants YOU to know what feminism LOOKS LIKE? Wow. Wow. That's like the equivalent of some little 14 year old sporting sleeves and black and white striped tank tops with a bad bleach job and too much eyeliner telling someone that "this is what punk rock looks like."

    Not to mention (and I really shouldn't say this because on a completely logical level I know it makes no sense) but I really kind of hate it when guys-- particularly guys who put themselves in the LGBTQWTFOMGBBQ community box-- try to talk to me about feminism. Um, no. Because a gay guy has some kind of fall back if they're treated badly, or, oh, I dunno, paid $.75 on the dollar for the same job. THEY can call it discrimination and call themselves a minority. They're not honorary women.

  3. I know them. They are not a "he". Please do your research and use proper gender pronouns. I know it's not my business and this is your fight but please.... They don't need to be misgendered. Thank you

  4. attacking someone for there gender presentation doesn't seam all that feminist.

  5. Sometimes I can't resist it either. He seems a little ridiculous. This post cracked me up though.

  6. This is a very disappointing post from a group that normally writes so well. Real men come in all shapes and sizes, it's just as sexist to make fun of a man for how he presents himself as it is to do it to a woman. I would never dream of posting a picture of a woman in dungarees , changing the tyre on her 18 wheeler truck and ask the question "what have we done to our women?"
    I love this group, as a gay pro life man I feel an affinity with these women who are challenging the status quo, especially in terms of life issues. But acceptance is a two way street ladies. Like it or not this is a picture of a man, maybe not your ideal man, but we can't all be all things to all women. Making fun of someone because of their appearance? Not cool ladies.

    Very very dissapointed

    1. Daytona,

      Thank you for the thoughtful response. I would like to apologize if it seemed my message was focused solely on this guys appearance, as that was not my intention. It was much more the fact that he was completely unwilling to accept that there was any other form of feminism besides the one he represented. I personally love when men (of any sexual orientation) stand up for equal rights. This guys was not doing that though. He was bashing our group, our beliefs, and spamming all of our pictures. I had just had enough. I have no respect for keyboard courage, especially when it's used to lash out at the very gender you claim to want to empower.

      Again, please accept my apology. And just to clarify, I actually have no idea what this guys sexual orientation is. I only know he's a douche. :)

  7. Hi Destiny,
    I agree with you on the keyboard courage thing. I stopped discussing abortion on facebook and twitter because its pointless.I did, however spend last Saturday afternoon on a bridge with a post abortive lesbian and my (very Catholic) parents with a massive "Say NO to Abortion" banner and giving out flyers, a much more effective way to communicate the message :-)
    I didn't think you were making fun of this guy because of his sexual orientation at all and I understand your frustration, I just dont think how anyones looks or how they present themselves is relevant.
    You guys have a great talent for getting the message across in a simple, no nonsense and hilarious way, I just hate to see cheap shots taken at anyone ( even, brave keyboard warriors)
    Anyway, thanks for the reply, and keep up the great work.

    Amazing job at the Dallas March BTW...we need to get you ladies to Ireland sooner than immediately :-) x

    1. You're in Ireland?! Soooooo jealous!

    2. We're fighting hard to keep abortion out but it's a lost battle I fear.